The title’s is not supposed to be a question so don’t bother with the analysis. Hell! I wish I could start my blog on a more positive note but here I am after a night-out writing a blog I had no intention to start (but got inspired by my friend). So, here I am!
A month or so earlier I was rolling in options like old Scrooge in his gold (Duck Tales and not A Christmas Carol). I am not exactly known for making quick decisions. So they were killing me.
I have a girlfriend. I love soccer. I like listening to music in my spare time, while working, while in a bad mood and when in a good mood. I support Manchester United. I am a little lazy.
Where was I? Yes, in March. I was reconsidering whether I really was in love with my girlfriend, trying to decide whether I was the right guy to take over the mantle of football secy. of the college, trying to weigh the importance of an internship with completing my summer course and asking myself if I have ever apologised for my past mistakes.
It’s hard. Taking decisions. Even harder is to live with the fact that I am cheating myself by delaying the decisions. I like butterscotch milkshake at such times. It doesn’t help in deciding but is sure good for my taste-buds.
I was pondering over what to do with my life as in a job after graduation or a trip to a monastery. A sabbatical is not such a bad idea but I am afraid of the fact that I am considering one this early in my career. I keep thinking about all the lies I have told and the ones I am going to. Is there an end to it? I want to learn swimming, get better at soccer, climb the Qogir one day and fly but all I can see myself doing in the coming months is study TD, HT, MTO and Maths. Do I really belong? Or I am just shirking my duties? Will I ever be able to look at a beautiful girl without having a crush on her? Will I ever be able to walk beside Ganesh without giving him a shoulder-push? These were some questions which were blowing over my grey cells in an endless repetition like an annoying song that I couldn’t get out of my head and I couldn’t like, either. I had to answer them, for my own sake.
The human heart has hidden treasures,
In secret kept, in silence sealed;
The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures,
Whose charms were broken if revealed.
– Charlotte Bronte
Her lines from the Evening Solace make me think twice about whether I should write about my decisions. I am still trying to decide. So, until then I’ll just listen to some music because I like listening to music in my spare time, while working, while in a bad mood, when in a good mood and when I have a decision to make.
A Piece of my Mind 
Amazing post 🙂 I’m glad I inspired you to write.
Don’t worry at all man, hope for the best.
There would obviously be a time when things would be OK, when you won’t shoulder-push me when you walk right next to me. I hope I get stronger physically to counter your habit to make you get rid of it.
Things always fall into place. But it is good to introspect. 🙂
I had got some idea of this outcome after the wonderful answer to my question… you know which 1…now that I know how many sins have you committed … only god can help you[:D].. but one thing is sure.. you feel human..
needless to say.. wonderful post..
Hmm….. surreal.
Dali-esque in its magnificence.
I can’t believe I actually said Dali-esque.
Things will improve once you quit the shoulder-pushing habit. Thats the key.